Simple steps for momentous change: change your life by doing this one small thing

Most of us begin to pursue success through various means quite early on in life; and the reason we pursue it? We seek success to achieve happiness.  However, the truth is that this instead of being a bedrock of happiness, success actually flows from a sense of happiness.

It has been proved that once people can afford the necessities in life an increase in material well being or even earned income does not make them significantly happier.

Then what does? Research says the happiness is found in enriching experiences which may be bought with money and offer good value for money– it may not be found simply by having more money. In fact, happiness is maximised when people choose intentional change over circumstantial change. This is derived from a degree of autonomy hence achieved.

In fact, even when it comes to encouraging people to do more of what they enjoy, the rewards should not be fixed or predetermined as they reduce the involvement with the activity, instead the rewards should be occasional and should come as a surprise.

Coming to weaknesses, presenting them early in a discussion is seen as a sign of openness and much as many people do not realise it, their flaws are not as obvious to others as to themselves. This is because some of us focus more on our own looks or behaviour hence overestimating their impact.

So, if you really want to make a good impression there are a few simple things you can do. Sit towards the middle of the table. To get someone to like you ask them to do you a favour. In fact, people are more likely to agree to a big favour if you have already asked them for a small favour first – by building trust and showing them that you need them.

Remember, where it concerns your image, gossiping is a big give away. Most people associate a gossiper with the very characteristics they criticize and lead to a negative impression- so avoid indulging in gossip.

Instead, if you really want o be liked then remember, people like people who are similar to them and find them far more persuasive. Favours work best in this regard; however, they work best when the favour is small and thoughtful and comes from a relative stranger.

But if your goal is to improve your life, day dreaming is a futile activity, it can only make you feel better.

For simple improvements like dietary regulation, an ideal way is to eat slowly, helping you to eat less. If you wish to cut down on your drinking, choose tall narrow glasses instead of short wide ones, thus tricking your brain and reducing your intake without appearing to. In fact, research also shows that simply moving food or drink out of sight reduces the desire to consume it so put away the candy far out of sight, in a place that is hard to reach.

However, when it comes to eating correct portions, always eat consciously as a distracted state of mind leads to overeating and making a note of what you eat helps too by keeping track of the intake.

Charles Abraham and Paschal Sheeran’s research also points towards one simple way to make sure you don’t skip gym – thinking about how much you will regret not going will motivate you not to skip. The same strategy works when achieving one’s life goals – imaging how people would like to be remembered helps them to live more authentically in tune with how they really wish to lead their lives. And you can apply this power of thinking out loud by spending a few moments describing your role model, any high achiever that you admire to propel you towards becoming more like them.

A simple way to make your date a success is to pick a high thrill activity and this will leave your date thinking of you as exciting and fun.

But when you are nursing a disappointment or a hurt like a heartbreak, simple trick that will help you feel better is to reflect on the positive fall outs of an unfortunate incident or hurt. This helps people to reconcile to that situation or person.

Talking of reconciliation and relationships nothing works as well to improve them as surrounding yourself with objects that remind you of your partner.

Sometimes, life can throw some hard choices at you. In such situations where simple decisions need to be taken a rational approach works well, with due consideration for both pros and cons. On the contrary, when it comes to complex decision making you must try to give your conscious mind a rest and let your unconscious mind guide your choice. In either case, try not be stuck in limbo, after all research shows that people had the highest regret for the things they did not do in life.

How do you know someone is telling the truth? Easy, just begin by asking them simple or innocuous questions which are likely to elicit genuine and truthful responses, gauze their performance and compare it to their behaviour when they are asked more probing questions. You will easily know if they are being deceptive or hesitant.

Often when people estimate the time required for completion of a project, they are likely to get it wrong. In this case the best bet is to estimate the time taken to complete a similar project and estimate based on that. Mental unpacking or breaking down the steps of the project in smaller steps results in providing a more accurate account of the likely turnaround time for a project.

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